DON’T BALTER ABOUT, YOUR BEER-SOAKED BABOON!
Yes, today’s Good Word is “balter.”
The word "balter” means to dance artlessly, without grace or skill.
In other words, it's dancing like a lot of geeky guys do at their junior prom.
It might even be how we dance in this missive. Words Good does not claim to bring any particular art to you or your writing. But it does bring a great degree of clumsy enthusiasm. And occasionally, it offers up a fun word without any clear need for that word.
However, with a word like “balter,” is "need" really the issue?
Balter is about the fun, the thrills, the joy of lex.
As great as they are, you can’t run around plugging big, unusual words like “brobdingnagian” into your everyday conversation.
But a word like “balter” can find a home in your daily chatter.
Let’s say your friend Walter gets drunk and tries to dance yet again.
You can call him Baltering Walter. Perhaps he was even that beer-soaked, baltering baboon at the top of the page.
“Balter” is a good enough word that you could even start a whole movement about it.
You might start printing and selling T-shirts that proudly proclaim, “Balter on!” and it becomes a thing.
As an alternative to the annual spring debutante ball, where fresh young flowers are introduced to society, you’ll begin seeing that annual satirical rite, The Annual Autumn Balter Ball, where besotted balterers celebrate the death of the season among the brown, crunchy leaves of another wasted summer.
And just by the way, speaking of trees…
Whilst researching “balter” for your dining and dancing pleasure, Google informed me that “People also ask, ‘What is a Dendrophile?’”
I had to ask, too. It sounds like something the cops might be able to run a sting for. "Let's nail those disgusting dendrophiles, damn it!"
Indeed, knowing something about the word “dendrites” did not inform any further understanding of dendrophilia, which sounds just a little bit dirty.
Seems a “dendrophile” is a tree lover.
So very quickly, while baltering about with Google, your artless scribe succumbed to the juvenile joys of fabulous phonemes with no regard for usefulness or practicality.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Anyway, Words Good Good Word for Daily Use is “balter,” to dance artlessly, without grace or skill.
Bet you can find a place for it.
Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City
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Blaine Parker is prone to ranting about any and all things related to brand. In many ways, he is a professional curmudgeon. While there is no known vaccine for this, the condition is also not contagious. Unless you choose it to be so.