ARE YOU HUNGRY YET?

...or to listen to it in the author's own voice, click HERE

AdWeek has released its list of "The 10 Best Ads of 2017."
 
I thought, this should be good. These kinds of lists always give the small-business owner a great lesson in what to do--or not to do, depending on the particular advertisement.
 
And the first ad shown, the tenth of the 10 ads represented, is one heck of a "how-to" lesson in advertising.
 
The very first thing that anyone who's ever seen 2001: A Space Odyssey thinks is, Hey, that's the neoclassical bedroom from the end of the movie.
 
And it is. It's an actual recreation of that set with the furniture removed. But the room is still unmistakable in its antiseptic starkness and its under-lit white-tile floor.
 
BUT DR. DAVID BOWMAN IS NOT THERE
 
Instead, an elderly woman with short, white hair sits slumped in a chair in the middle of the room, wearing a white hospital gown. There is an odd, orbiting device above her head.
 
Who is she? Why is she there? What is the odd device above her head? Why does it look like a series of concentric lampshades, and what do the lampshades do as they slowly spin on their axis?
 
A creepy song plays, discordant and metallic sounding, a cheery voice singing disturbing words about ice cream.
 
A robot rolls into the frame. Its mechanical, emotionless voice says, "Good morning. It's time for ice cream." Its arm thrusts forward a spoonful of white ice cream.
 
She tastes it and says, "Oh, it's good! What's--"
 
"Eat the ice cream," says the robot.
 
IT FEEDS HER ANOTHER BITE
 
She takes it, then says, "Where am I?"
 
"Humans require ice cream."
 
"What is this place?"
 
"Eat the ice cream."
 
"I don't want any more!"
 
"Eat the ice cream."
 
"How long have I been here?"
 
"You're so hungry for delicious ice cream."
 
THE ROBOT CONTINUES THRUSTING THE ICE CREAM SPOON AT HER
 
"Get that away from me!" She knocks the spoon to the ground.
 
There's a shot of the spoon clattering on the floor. One vaguely recalls a similar image in Kubrick's movie. 
Homage!
 
She says, "Where...where's Steven?"
 
A door in the front of the robot's body opens, almost with apprehension.
 
Hesitation. Then, an arm slowly protrudes from the dark space within, holding out... 
An ice cream cone.
 
It slides towards the woman. She regards it with trepidation and recoils ever so slightly.
 
THE ROBOT SWIVELS ITS HEAD TO ONE SIDE
 
"Everyone you love is gone. There is only ice cream."
 
The camera pulls back.
 
The woman begins to sob.
 
She slumps her head.
 
There is a dark and dissonant swoosh and "whump." 
Following is a product shot.
 
The product is Halo Top ice cream.
 
PUTS YOU RIGHT IN THE MOOD, DOESN'T IT?
 
This is perhaps the best produced, hilariously dystopian, grimly satisfying, un-motivating advertisement for a food product ever.
 
And here's the one thing I really do appreciate about the reportage around this commercial. 
I've read several stories that say basically same thing.
 
"Wow that's funny. 
"And it does the product no favors."
 
Yes, earlier I did say that this ad would offer one heck of a "how-to" lesson in advertising.
 
The lesson is how to not do it.
 
NEVER COMMIT SACRIFICE
 
Never sacrifice your message or your product--or your brand--to the self-pleasuring comedy of a message driven by creative ego.
I've seen it constantly in small-business radio advertising. 
But not like this epic horror.
 
Understand, this commercial was greenlit by the CEO of Halo Top.
 
It was also produced to play in movie theaters before Stephen King's It.
 
For that latter tactic, you can almost excuse it.
 
Except that, it lives on in YouTube land.
 
And plenty of people are seeing it.
 
And viewer reactions are things like, "That's hilarious. I'll never eat ice cream again."
 
The Fabulous Honey Parker, who came away from her career in big agency advertising with good rules, and good ways to break rules, has a simple rule about food advertising.
 
"YOU HAVE TO WANT TO EAT IT"
 
I showed her this video. She did something I've never seen. She watched with her mouth agape.
 
Her reaction was something like, "Oh, my God."
 
There is nothing tasty about the old woman in sinister limbo being tortured by a robot with a spoonful of ice cream.
 
Where it should be the hero, the product becomes evil.
 
Granted, "Got Milk" commercials cast the product as the hero absent. But nobody needs to be sold on milk being tasty. They merely need to be reminded to buy milk.
 
In those stories, the protagonists who were too careless to not buy milk end up paying the price. The lesson is, "Don't let this happen to you."
 
And it was hugely successful.
 
Except with the Spanish-speaking community.
 
Hispanic mothers found nothing quite as insulting as the idea that they would forget to buy milk for their families.
​
THERE WAS AN EMOTIONAL DISCONNECT
 
"Got Milk" was a huge failure with that demographic. Which is why Goodby-Silverstein launched a campaign called, "Familia, Amor Y Leche." Family, Love & Milk.
 
For that market, it reversed the emotional disconnect inherent in the sardonic message, "Got Milk?"
 
But the emotional disconnect of "Eat The Ice Cream" is stunning.
 
The product is malevolent. It is an antagonist. It is threatening and dangerous. Abandon all hope, ye who eat the ice cream!
 
Since the video does not appear on the Halo Top YouTube channel, it's safe to assume they really don't want it out there and that it was a publicity stunt designed to create buzz.
 
But the take away for the small-business advertiser: play to your core customer's needs, wants, desires, or even fears. But do not make your product fearsome and loathsome and sinister. It doesn't pay off.
 
To see "Eat The Ice Cream" and revel in its dysfunctionality, visit https://youtu.be/j4IFNKYmLa8
As always,
Blaine Parker
Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in
Park City

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