WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE EMERGENT CRISIS HITS THE FAN? You know that we here at the Mountaintop Marketing Fortress are great admirers of breakthrough business models. We will not use the phrase, "Outside the box." That phrase has become so overused, it is inside the box at the center. That notwithstanding, one of those breakthrough business models hit me in the face in the wake of hurricane Irma. I was sitting in my office, reading the news about the devastation in the Caribbean. This was my old stomping grounds. During part of my misspent 20s, I worked aboard big boats that sailed the Caribbean, among other places. So, as the news reports are rolling in, I'm wondering, What the heck? WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THIS? Homes and businesses leveled. A friend's parents' house in Tortola is one of the mere 20% of structures left standing on that island. The little island of Barbuda is uninhabited for the first time in 4,000 years. The entire population just up and left. Civilization there is gone. Luxury resorts and charter-yacht fleets that were the economic fuel for local populations have been blown apart and scattered like kindling. What do you do? Where do you begin? AND ALMOST AS A RABBIT FROM A STORM-BLOWN HAT... The answer landed in my Facebook instant message feed. A yacht captain who lives in Antigua, an affable Brit with whom I had sailed years ago, sent a link to a non-profit that blew my socks off. Not that you wear socks in Antigua. But I'm in the mountain west. I'm prepared to wear socks. I was unprepared for something that was such a natural fit, it made me wonder, How the heck did this not happen decades earlier? It took someone with the right connections, and a little bit of thinking outside the boat. YES, THE BOAT Or, more accurately, the boats, plural. Big boats. The big, private boats that often use the Caribbean islands as their cruising grounds. We're talking about the boats of the superwealthy, known in the industry as Superyachts. These enormous yachts are more than the stuff of luxury St. Tropez daydreams and Hollywood movies. Superyachts are businesses, operated by people who earn salaries. These vessels are also underutilized by the people who own them. What it took was an entrepreneur who has a support business that serves Superyachts to look at these underutilized assets and think, Here's an opportunity to do a lot of good. YACHTAID GLOBAL WAS BORN Yacht owners volunteer their vessels. Yacht crews volunteer their time. And the result is a de facto worldwide fleet of boats, and a crew of volunteers, ready to deliver humanitarian aid at any time. Since 2006, YachtAid Global (known as YAG) has delivered relief to 50 locations in 20 countries via 40 superyachts and 400 volunteer crew members. They work with other non-profit organizations, in-country connections, and NGOs. And the work in the Caribbean has begun. The volunteers are contacting yachts, obtaining relief supplies, managing logistics, and getting stuff where it needs to be. IT'S IMPRESSIVE AND INSPIRING Last week, I spoke to the two people spearheading the operation out of Atlanta. It was about 5pm their time. One of them had just gotten around to eating breakfast. While we were talking, the other volunteer had to put me on hold. He was taking a call from a Disaster Aid Response Team, comprised of former special forces soldiers, who were on the ground in storm-thrashed Turks and Caicos. People are volunteering their time, doing good and making stuff happen in short order. THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM Many people see a yacht, and they see conspicuous consumption gone wild. Typically, aside from an extraordinary feat of marine architecture and engineering, I see a microeconomic system that fuels the livelihoods of hundreds of people. There's easily a couple of million bucks a year spent on maintaining and staffing that vessel. That's a whole lot of income feeding and housing a whole lot of families. But now, that vision has been supplemented by the potential for a charitable juggernaut that can move aid quickly, getting food, water and shelter to families in need, and getting it to the hard-to-reach places where it needs to be. Super yachts doing supergood? Mmm...maybe we'll work on that. In the meantime, if you're interested in knowing more, you can find them at http://yachtaidglobal.org AND WHILE WE'RE SPEAKING OF THE CARIBBEAN... Back in the spring, we talked about a breakout small business brand in St. Thomas called Pizza Pi. (Yes, that's P-I, "pi," as in the mathematical constant. The owners are certifiably smart people, and one of them went to MIT.) Ranked on Trip Advisor as the #1 restaurant in the U.S. Virgin islands, Pizza Pi is a boat that anchors in Christmas Cove, dispensing gourmet pizzas to boaters in the area. Pizza Pi was closed for the summer season, and Chef Tara and Capt. Sasha were off St. Thomas when the storms ripped through. Reports are that their vessel is alive. It had been hauled for the season, and despite some damage to the rig, the overall outlook is good. Also, Chef Tara is one of the organizers of a GoFundMe campaign to aid residents of the Virgin Islands. Funds are directed specifically to the USVI. More info at https://www.gofundme.com/us-virgin-islands-irma-relief-fund In the wake of the storms, no matter where you are, here's to plenty of water under your keel. As always, Blaine Parker Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City
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WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN TUSTIN? You don't have to have been around Hot Shots or Slow Burn Marketing very long to know we bang the gong for the F-word. Focus! Focus! Focus! Yes, we love us the focus. Fooocuuuussss! And as an adjunct to brand focus, I have long been a proponent of the focus-driven restaurant model. For me, one of the finest such brands is the long-lost Killer Shrimp in Los Angeles. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THEY SERVED? You got it: Shrimp. It came one of two ways: as peel & eat shrimp simmered in a secret blend of herbs and spices, or as peeled shrimp simmered in a secret blend of herbs and spices. Every time I was at the location in Marina del Rey, it was packed. But, as with so many legendary favorites, it eventually closed. It went on to become merely a legend. But not before a good, long run. Recently, the name was resurrected for a chain of restaurants with a broad menu that seems to be doing its best to hang on, despite having closed two of three locations. And if you read the reviews, it sounds as if Killer Shrimp lost its specialness in an attempt to become more things to more people. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE LACK OF FOCUS UNDID THEM Yet, as a student of the restaurant business, looking at it from the outside as a marketing guy, I remain fascinated by the single-item menu model. It streamlines operations. It keeps away anyone but a customer interested in the one thing you serve. And done properly, it can be a gold mine. Which is why, when the website FastCasual.com reported on Yang's Braised Chicken Rice opening a store in Southern California, I was intrigued. YOU'VE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF YANG'S BRAISED CHICKEN RICE This chain has 6,000 units. And their average unit in China serves an average of 400,000 dishes daily. Yes, according to Fast Casual's report, that is 400,000 dishes per location every day . But despite a presence in China, Singapore, Japan and Australia, they've never had a store in the US. Until now. This has been news in the industry press for some time. But the actual restaurant hadn't been open--until now. HERE NOW, THE GOOD This menu is everything you could possibly want in a simplistic, streamlined model of operational efficiency. They sell exactly one dish: Mr. Xiao Lu Yang's secret family recipe for Huang Men braised chicken and rice. He learned how to cook at his grandmother's knee, and her recipe, tweaked over the years, is the one that he serves. This dish has helped him skyrocket to fame, opening those 6,000 locations in just six years. For a relative barometer, California-based Panda Express is 33 years old, and has almost 2,000 restaurants in the US, Puerto Rico, Guam, Canada, Mexico, South Korea, and the United Arab Emirates. Opening 6,000 restaurants in six years, Yang's Braised Chicken And Rice has been busy. FAST CASUAL CALLS THE CHAIN A "ONE-DISH WONDER" They say that the secrets to "Yang's gangbusters success is his one-dish model and the high quality of its sauce." Mr. Yang is quoted in the article as saying, "Our innovative single-item menu is rooted in tradition, with our braised chicken recipe passed down and perfected over the years." Fast Casual goes on to say, "While other concepts often juggle complicated menus and offer a variety of choices, Yang focuses on one dish only. The only other thing on the menu is soft drinks." Says Mr. Yang, "With a single menu item and consistency in ingredients, we were able to quickly scale up operations across China to meet rising demand." And according to reports, Yang's single US location is relying Yang's original secret sauce, which is being imported directly from China. SO YOU'D THINK IT WOULD BE A HIT, RIGHT? It's a global phenomenon. People love it! It contains Mr. Yang's proprietary sauce with Grandma's magic touch. The limited menu is designed specifically for ease of replication and quick scaling up. How hard can it be to create a huge splash? Very hard. Just ask Yelp. THE OPENING IN TUSTIN DEMONSTRATES DISCONNECT AND DISAPPOINTMENT After a soft open that doesn't sound like it went all that well, Yang's officially opened its doors to the public on September 10. People stood in enormous lines to come and sample the world famous Chinese braised chicken. And they left disappointed. Many didn't care for what they described as a simple dish exhibiting none of the savory delight that has been described in glowing media reports. Some diners described a fatty, skin-laden dish that required cherry-picking the meat from the fatty, unappetizing bits. But far and away, the biggest complaints were about the long wait for mediocre food, the lousy communication, and the rampant disappointment. Maybe a Chinese location can serve 400,000 bowls of chicken and rice daily. THE TUSTIN LOCATION HAS HAD A PROBLEM TURNING OUT 1/10,000 OF THAT QUANTITY There have been reports of volume limited to 40 portions. There have been rampant complaints about published hours not coinciding with actual hours. There have been complaints about mystery reservations being required. There have been complaints of standing in line for two hours only to be told there's no food left. The impending opening of Yang's Braised Chicken was big news. The reality of the opening of Yang's Braised Chicken has been disappointment and anger. ONE OF THE WORST THINGS A BRAND CAN DO IS WASTE YOUR TIME Especially in a business model that's all about efficiency, speed and scalability, you'd think that the place could be better than inefficient, creeping and unattainable. It really is a mystery. Opening this store was a big deal. As Mr. Yang himself said in the Fast Casual story, "Our main focus right now is the first U.S. store. We want to make sure that the flavor is right, the service is right, our guests' feedback has been heard and we can perfect this store." Maybe it's because they're so far removed from their home base in China. But when you have a business that obviously isn't ready to serve people, why would you go ahead with the open? Yes, I admit that I have been a proponent of the Mark Zuckerberg aphorism that "Done is better than perfect." But I'm equally a proponent of another aphorism: "You get only one chance to make a first impression." DONE MIGHT BE BETTER THAN PERFECT, BUT INEPT IS A FAR CRY FROM GOOD ENOUGH And that 2.5-star average rating currently on Yelp, and the word-of-mouth accompanying it, are all going to hurt Yang's Braised Chicken and Rice in Tustin far more than delaying the opening would have. Interestingly, the Yang's brand is a big brand. It's huge in China and Down Under. And it's a big brand that has a lot of drive from small-business owners. A lot of the people who've opened Yang's franchises are customers who fell in love with the product. Mr. Yang himself has said that his business has helped thousands of people realize a dream of owning a business and creating job opportunities. It seems, though, that such dream and opportunity is going to be on hold in the US for a bit. They need to get it squared away. I am hopeful. BRAND FOCUS IS GOOD--BUT YOU NEED TO BE SURE YOU'RE ALSO FOCUSING ON YOUR CUSTOMER If you're not ready to launch, don't launch. If you're not ready to serve, don't try. If you're going to publish your hours, don't change them on the fly. If you want an event to be big, be sure you're big enough to make it so. Wasting your customers' time is going to create ill will. And in an age of instant online vitriol, word of disappointment is going to spread quickly. Yang's may be big enough to survive this initial failure. Their focus is intense, and their resources are vast. But most small business owners will not have such luxury. As always, Blaine Parker Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City I woke up Monday morning to hear the news, oh boy. The NBC executive who coined the phrase, "Must See TV" had died. His name was Don Ohlmeyer. A veteran of NBC Sports, Mr. Ohlmeyer was also the man responsible for having Norm MacDonald fired from SNL for too many jokes about his friend, OJ Simpson. Hmm. What about this smells wrong? And how surprised is Dan Holm going to be? DAN HOLM IS THE WRITER/PRODUCER WHO SAT DOWN AND WROTE THE PHRASE, "MUST SEE TV" Of course, the success of NBC's famous Thursday-night promotion is going to the executive who happened to be sitting in the chair when it all happened. In TV, nobody celebrates writers. Except maybe the other writers. And as the story is told, Mr. Holm didn't exactly trot out "Must See TV" as the powerhouse tagline to promote Thursday nights. The story goes that Mr. Holm used the phrase in a promotional script. A gentleman named Vince Manze, who ran the network's promotional agency, saw the genius in it and cherry picked it for greater things. This happens all the time. For one of my own clients, I've written a tagline that began its life buried in a piece of body copy. THAT TAGLINE IS WORTH FAR MORE THAN THE CLIENT EVER PAID FOR IT But it also required the ability to recognize its value, and be plucked from body-copy obscurity, and thrust into the spotlight as a defining statement for the brand. And nobody's going around saying, "Hey, look at the tagline Blaine wrote!" Hardly. They're going around, repeating the tagline. It belongs to the brand, not the person who wrote it. And that's OK. If I go to my grave being known only for the brand tagline for a specialty product for the construction industry, it's going to be a grand disappointment. I'd prefer to go to my grave for being known as a fabulous dancer. But I digress. Credit for copywriting notwithstanding... FOR A WHILE, "MUST SEE TV" WAS A BRAND JUGGERNAUT FOR NBC That was the era of the coveted Thursday-night viewership domination. Shows like Mad About You, Wings, Seinfeld, Friends and ER all happened during that period. And certainly, much good did come out of NBC during Mr. Ohlmeyer's tenure as president of the network's west-coast division. That said, the gentleman also had a reputation. Mention of that reputation probably won't be popping up in any of the obituaries-and it's a reputation for a trait that is so common in marketing. The Fabulous Honey Parker has seen it repeatedly in her career in Big-Agency Advertising. I've seen it repeatedly during my career in Small-Business Advertising. THAT REPUTATION IS ONE FOR BEING A PREVENTION DEPARTMENT Depending on the environment, sometimes it's called The Advertising Prevention Department. In the case of Mr. Ohlmeyer, it might be called the Programming Prevention Department. According to the Infallible Oracle Of Everything, Wikipedia, Mr. Ohlmeyer's reputation at NBC was that he was "...not the inspiration behind NBC's hits in this period, but was often a roadblock they had to work around to make them happen." Really? Interesting. The article goes on to say that he insisted the hugely popular NBC drama, ERwould get destroyed by Chicago Hope at CBS. Of course, ER went on to win a total of 23 Primetime Emmy Awards, 124 Emmy nominations (making it the most nominated drama program in history), and picked up 116 awards in total during its tenure. AH, BUT WHAT ABOUT BEING BASHED IN THE RATINGS, AS PER OHLMEYER THE ORACLE? Besides being a critical powerhouse, ER spent a couple of seasons as the most watched show in North America, and for years fought with Seinfeld, another NBC show, for the #1 ratings slot. Mr. Ohlmeyer also didn't want to give the go ahead to Will & Grace. He insisted a TV show with gay characters couldn't reach a large mainstream audience. As the highest-rated sitcom among adults 18-49 from 2001 to 2005, and winner of 16 Emmy Awards out of 83 nominations, it seems that Mr. Ohlmeyer's nose for what people would buy was not 100% dead accurate. And this is not a slam at all at Don Ohlmeyer. Far from it, in fact. He helped make some amazing things happen. BUT IT'S A CAUTIONARY NOTE FOR ANYONE PUTTING CREATIVE WORK INTO THE ETHER And the cautionary note is perhaps best illustrated by a line given to us by a CoupleCo interview subject. If you don't know, CoupleCo is a nascent project being launched by The Fabulous Honey Parker and me. It will start life as a podcast about and for couple entrepreneurs, and grow into other media. We were interviewing a couple who have a photography business, and are a raging success. We asked each of them, "What is the single most important piece of advice you could give a couple who wants to be in business together?" Without hesitation, he said, "Don't think your opinion is always right. Because 99% of the time, it's not." AND THAT IS A FINE BIT OF ADVICE FOR ANYONE Especially in a business where one either has to help create a brand, or has to put that brand before the public (I'm talking to you, all you writers and small business owners-you're all in this together), fear and ego are your enemies. Again: Fear And Ego Are Your Enemies. We've talked about this before. We will talk about it again. Fear says things like, "Oh, I can't do that, it'll insult someone." We've literally had a client be afraid of a piece of copy that talked about how hard it is to read a menu in a dark Chinese restaurant. Without using this exact phrasing, the client said he was afraid it would be considered a micro-aggression against Chinese people. WHAT HE DIDN'T REALIZE IS IT HAD ALREADY BEEN RUNNING FOR YEARS We were asking him to approve not the entire advertisement, but just an edit to the advertisement. It had been on the air for seven years. In those seven years , no one had ever called him on his politically incorrect micro-aggression. As for Ego, that's the little voice in your head that tells you things like, "Yes, those are the rules for other people, but I'm above that." Or, "I don't like that so nobody will." Ya know what? I love olives. Happy to eat them. Ya know what else? Honey Parker hates olives. Will not eat them. We will never come to an accord over this. It's just the way things are. ONE THING WE DO AGREE ON IS THAT WE DON'T ENJOY WILL & GRACE We are not the Will & Grace audience. But we do not begrudge the TV viewing public its fondness for that NBC sitcom. And we admit, it was well done. And one of the brightest spots for us is Megan Mullally's supporting role as Karen Walker. This character is described (in know-it-all Wikipedia, of course,) as "'a spoiled, shrill, gold-digging socialite who would sooner chew off her own foot than do an honest day's work.' She is also a promiscuous borderline alcoholic/drug addict with an often tenuous grip on reality and very few morals." Really, Ms. Mullally is just damn funny, and a stellar comic actress. SO, WHAT ABOUT THE SMALL-BUSINESS OWNER? After all, TV programming is an incredibly complicated big business. What can the small-business owner take away from this mayhem of convoluted mega-business mishegas? Well, don't be afraid of good creative. Don't let Fear & Ego rule your decision making. And ultimately, it helps to turn to one of NBC's iconic leaders, the late CEO and Chairman Grant Tinker, who also co-founded MTM Enterprises with his then wife, Mary Tyler Moore. Mr. Tinker was known for his distinctive approach to all things business, "First be best, and then be first." Of course, that requires defining the word, "Best." What is best? That's a topic for a whole different screed. But be guaranteed, it isn't fueled by fear or ego. If you'd like to know more about couples who are not ruled by Fear & Ego, check out this teaser video for what's to come at CoupleCo... As always, Blaine Parker Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City Is There Success In This Idiocy? He would also become a fixture in American households on Labor Day weekend. But first, he'd have to get past that childhood illness. It's hard to know what the illness was. He would never speak about it. All we know is that, repeatedly abandoned by his parents during his childhood, he was left in the care of his Jewish grandmother. And grandmother's cure for the mystery illness has nothing on traditional Jewish penicillin. INSTEAD, SHE PLIED HIM WITH BACON Who knows where the long lost Jewish bacon cure has disappeared to, or when we lost it. But as an adult, he admitted that in an attempt to ward off whatever disease it was that was attacking her grandson, grandma would cram little Joseph's mouth full of bacon. In a different place and time, this might have led to a career as a professional eater. "Megatoad" Matt Stonie holds the world record of 182 bacon slices in just five minutes. Six pounds. About 11 full packages of bacon. That was 2015 at Daytona, smashing the standing record set in 2010 by "The Human Vacuum" Mark Lyle, which was just 54 slices. But Joseph didn't seem to have much interest in a career as a professional eater. But he kept up his bacon regimen. One celebrity friend, interviewed in GQ Magazine back in May, says he'd seen the guy sit down to breakfast, order 24 slices of bacon, and eat them all. PROFESSIONAL EATING ASIDE, JOSEPH FOLLOWED IN HIS PARENTS FOOTSTEPS The reason they left Joseph with his bacon-wielding Jewish grandma was because they had an itinerant lifestyle. They were vaudeville performers. Mom played piano. Dad was a song and dance man. Sometimes, little Joseph would appear in the act. At age 5, he launched his performing career singing, "Brother, Can you Spare A Dime." But mainly, his parents left him with grandma. It made him very insecure. AND IT LED TO A MONUMENTAL PERSONAL BRAND Determined not to be left behind, Joseph became ambitious and driven. He began developing his own stage act. As the spotlight continued to shine upon him and his fame grew, he was very shrewd about controlling his career. Unlike so many in his profession, he kept a tight rein on the direction of his career and the ownership of his material. He ultimately became a multimillionaire. His energy could be frenetic. He was endlessly creating. When he was living in Los Angeles, his celebrity neighbors would find themselves drafted into impromptu film performances right in his living room. The man who had once been insecure, bacon-stuffed little Joseph was very candid about his fame. "I'VE HAD GREAT SUCCESS BEING A TOTAL IDIOT" Yes, he said that. He called himself a total idiot. Hard to know when or where he said that, exactly, because it has become pervasive. It has even turned into an internet meme. But it's impossible to argue either the success or the idiocy. At one point during his career, he was called the monkey to his peformance partner's role as the organ grinder. But the "total idiocy" that built his success was fueled by tremendous insecurity. It's probably one of the reasons that in his act, he was big and broad and usually playing to the back row. He had eccentricities. Besides the bacon, that is. He never wore the same pair of socks twice. It's been reported that he'd change them four times a day. AND HIS FANS LOVED HIM At the same time, his critics hated him. None of it changed the fact that he also cast himself as a great humanitarian. For his humanitarian work, he was even nominated for a Nobel Prize. In France, he was awarded a Chevalier in the Ordre national de la Légion d'honneur, the highest order of merit that country can bestow. It's essentially a knighthood. The French have lionized him as an auteur. When you see someone with this kind of raging success, it's hard not to think, Wow. They have it together, don't they. BUT AGAIN: A CAREER FUELED BY INSECURITY The Fabulous Honey Parker and I have a friend who grew up in the northeast. He went to prep school and spent time living in New York. At one point, he became friends with Joseph's adult son. They visited dad backstage in his dressing room at a performance. It seems they were sitting there, waiting for dad to appear, fresh form the stage. Our friend describes the door opening, and being engulfed by a whirlwind of narcissism and insecurity. He described it as overwhelming. Meeting this world-famous multi-millionaire, all he can remember experiencing was the man's self-doubt, harsh self-analysis, and his need for affirmation. BUT WHEREFORE LABOR DAY? Ah, yes. Labor Day. The holiday that spawned this train of thought. For a quarter of a century, Labor Day was the day that this man would launch a crusade to help children for whom the secret Jewish bacon cure was not enough. During his tenure as Labor Day's ringmaster, he helped raise over two and a half billion dollars for children in need of more than bacon. It was a cause that he took personally, and to which he dedicated himself annually. EVENTUALLY, THAT STAR WAS EXTINGUISHED Bad press, accusations, criticism, outdated attitudes, fragmentation of TV viewership--many things contributed to the death of the Labor Day manifestation of the cause. But for 45 years, The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon was a fixture on American televisions. But like the arc of little Joseph Levitch's career, it was a huge success that eventually became the punchline to a joke. And little Joseph Levitch, whose stage name became Jerry Lewis, built a stellar career on the foundation of a personal brand infused equally with talent and insecurity. If you didn't see the news, Jerry Lewis went to the great telethon in the sky just a couple of weeks shy of Labor Day, on August 20, 2017. He was 91 years old. SO WHAT ON EARTH WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SMALL-BUSINESS BRANDING? Funny you should ask that. I was asking myself the very same thing when I stumbled upon the mystic Jewish bacon cure. I wanted to know more about the childhood malady that Josephs' grandmother fought back with bacon. Can I use it? Will it help me? I'm very pro-bacon. But the more I searched, the less there was about the illness. But the more there was about the carefully built brand that was Jerry Lewis. The environmental conditions and the family dynamic that led to his success as a one-man comedy empire were fascinating. And it got me thinking about how often the quest for perfection shoots a small-business brand in the foot. "DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT" That adage comes to us from the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. And it shines a laser onto the hot spot that so often prevents a brand from ever getting off the ground. Throughout my career working with small businesses in branding and advertising, it's impossible to count the number of branding efforts and advertising campaigns that have been derailed by fear. Yet in Jerry Lewis, we have the sky-high success of a one-man brand founded upon and driven by fear. Some might argue that the Jerry Lewis brand is built on cruelty and megalomania. That's an easy, pop-psychology way to explain it. It's also ignorant and dismissive. NOTHING IS EVER THAT SIMPLE But if you start peeking into the life that was Jerry Lewis, you see a flawed human being who built a quintessential small-business brand that eventually became world-famous. He did it without venture capital. He did it without a logo. He did it without advisors or gurus or email marketing or sales funnels. He did it purely through intellectual investment and sweat equity. And, perhaps, bacon. What's in your wallet? As always, Blaine Parker Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City |
AuthorBlaine Parker is prone to ranting about any and all things related to brand. In many ways, he is a professional curmudgeon. While there is no known vaccine for this, the condition is also not contagious. Unless you choose it to be so. Archives
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